Attention all linguists

Ollie Webber has many overseas contacts, all of whom seem to send him dodgy e-mails. He has just received a message that he would like to share with you. As for the time being he cannot do his own postings, he has asked me to do it for him. Here it is.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertanly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion , and keyboards kan have one less letter.There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a detergent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agree that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unecesary "o" kan be dropd from words kontaining "ou" and aftr ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a unitd urop vil finali kum tru. Zen ve vil rul ze uorld!!! If zis mad u smil ples pas on to oza pepl.

Aktuly I have red this. It mad me krinj. Tom